Sunday 12 December 2004

The internet on the whole is a good thing. Ok we are bombarded with spam suggesting (quite rightly in my case) that I need a larger penis, that I may need Viagra and that I'd love a Rolex for ten pund, even the porn's not bad. However it can be a place fraught with danger. I'm finding myself being abused on a public forum, someone suggesting wickedness on my part. I managed to get it deleted by the Forum owner but only after it had been up there a while. So tomorrow it's the solicitors for me to sue both the individual and consequently the forum owner for allowing that individual back on the site despite earlier, less vitriolic it has to be said postings. Oh well, on with my life.
Last night was an awful experience, enlivened by the fact that the DJ was a nice guy with aspirations to be a stand up. So I spent a convivial few hours chatting to him and playing a brilliant game. As the gig was for the Territorial Army and The Army Cadet Force, we livened up the night by trying to guess what affliction prevented them from joining the real army. Sometimes it was obvious, obesity in 20% of the cases, sheer ugliness in more than a couple and the inability to dance to even the most basic 4/4 beats!
Said DJ was a star, refusing to play Abba before I went on despite numerous requests from the ladies in the audience. Needless to say, again I overhead a group led by one individual planning to ambush my act by "not laughing". In short he was a twat, I put him down with a simple act of hackery and he soon became bored of me ignoring him and ended up going to the bar to prove I wasn't funny!. Admittedly I wasn't on the night. The audience were made up of age groups ranging from 18 to 70 so they tended to laugh at the reference points aimed at their particular age. I guess it was difficult audience to gauge, I didn't do it too well. I was funnier as the compere of the raffle prizes which gave me the opportunity to gently take the piss out of the winners and prizes. A sort of Mackem Terry Wogan on Blankety Blank if you like!
I'm really looking forward to tonight, I'm at one of my favourite venues, The Magnesia Bank in North Shields. It's the first of this week's Mark Rough Comedy Roadshows.Tonight is a bit special cos I've got two of my favourite comedians on plus one of my best friends and an up and coming act who I'm sure is going places.It'll be a healthy crowd and it's an opportunity for me to get a bit drunk and be on stage without the safety net of my act, just riffing with the crowd, something I'm not brilliant at but I am getting better.
FTM!