Monday 15 November 2004

Christ on a bike! What a weekend!
Here goes.

Friday 12 November 2004
Friday was the day I was "doubling up" as we call it in the biz (!) A decent journey over to Hull, booked into a very nice and clean B&B changed in to my "DDG" suit (DDG= drop dead gorgeous!) and headed to Hessle for a fantastic little gig. The night was arranged as a suprise for a fifty year old geezer getting married next week (you would think he was old enough to know better!..don't do it Hull bloke!). I was working with two, ahem.....exotic dancers. They were very attractive and punctual, to be honest that doesn't always go hand in hand. I did a good spot, enjoyed by all and had some craic about Sunderland-Hull games of yesteryear. Quick taxi to the (very impressive) Hull KC Super stadium and literally walked in had half a pint and went on stage. I was following John Conteh, who, I was told was very impressive and " a difficult act to follow". Well follow him I did and went on to do one of the best gigs I've ever done at a sportsman's dinner. This was important to me as the gig was booked through the country's most important comedy agent, it was my first for them and I stormed it! Much laughter ensued afterwards when John Conteh asked for my autograph! despite my promises I did end up in a dodgy lapdance club and forgot the name of my B&B, a cracking night.

Saturday 13 November
Woke up with a hangover but one of the best sausage and bacon sarnies I've ever had put paid to that!
I drove to Chesterfield to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen for ages. J was unveiling his new false teeth..oh we gave him some grief for that!
The first gig in Nottingham had to be set up and it didn't look promising. The landlady looked very worried that the football team she'd booked the night for wouldn't turn up, I shared her fears. I dashed over to The City Ground (Home of Nottm Forest FC) and did a quick half hour set to a Christmas party crowd, It went well despite the crap sound. Meanwhile back at the first gig, the landlady had paid off the strippers and insisted I did my act to 6 audience members and four of her regulars (who insisted on standing behind me and heckling..tossers!). She then tried not to pay me, a nasty argument ensued, not helped by the fact that I was staying at the pub that night! she backed down in the end but it left a nasty taste.

Sunday 14 November
After an arkward silence in the morning, the landlady from the previous night, bid me farewell and I set off on the mega track to Methr Tydfil..A new one on me!
The gig was extraordinary, a dodgy nightclub packed to the rafters with young kids out of their heads on alco pops at £1 and pints at the same price. All I was asked to do was get on to the stage hurl some abuse at audience members and make them laugh! I was shitting it, but they liked me, so 12 minutes later I was on my way with silly money for what is after all a silly job.
FTM!